< - - - FAITH - -

Friday

Happy New Year

Hihi...The year of 2006 is goin to end soon,tis oso means my birthday is coming n so as the year of 2007...Every1 make a wish...Hope for all the best thing happen to every1 of u ^^

Tis yr birthday is not wad i dream to be like,oh ya haven reach dat day yet nia,how come i say so??Is easy,coz the one i tot i wil be wif is longer here wif me,but nvm,wad is over is over,rite?cheer up n be happy ^^ beside tis birthday wont be too bad...2molo goin out wif my 3 best fren,maybe others too,v wil sure hav some fun..Sunday,afternoon wil go for a movie wif Jeff and nite wil be having bbq at home,and oso dear wil be on9 toking to me nia,hehe ^^ dear is in spore,cant really be wif me but is ok,stil can tok ma,dats gd enuf...hmm...wont be a boring birthday bah???However some plan had been cancelled,at 1st i abit upset nia,but den dear cheer me up,is ok de coz there is stil sum plan are on...And my sis got her PMR result,she got 7A1B,not bad sia,better den me,haha...congratulation for her...

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|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Wednesday

Yesterday nite wait for dear 2 on9,din play pangya oso lor...Vin korkor say i silly gal,worry so much,hehe...ard 12.30 dear on9 liao,tok to him awhile,im so glad he ok and he oso promise me he will take care himself de...Juz awhile oni den i go slp le,dear say he hungry,he eat sumting 1st oni slp wor...
Den 2day suppose to go out wif my sis,but she say pangya event 2day last day,she wan play,so din go liao...internet down tis morning,juz now oni can use again...dats y juz now noon,felt so sian,i went to hav a nap le,hehe...everyday nap,like pig liao,omg =P
Anyway,now wan go hav sumting to eat le,tata...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Tuesday

Worrying....

Got relative staying at my house now,cant slp on my own bed,abit not use to it,hehe,but still ok lar...juz cant hav gd slp oni...Tis morning woke up liao,start scanning computer for virus,used alot of time nia...ard 1pm oni i stop,den start play pangya coz dear haven on9 ma,but i play so badly,non of one game is ok de,haiz...dunnoe wads wrong wif me 2day...den later tire liao,go watch southpark liao,hehe...den ard 3pm,dear sis use his msn tok to me,she tell me dear ask her tell me later tok at nite,she say he in hospital,she oni noe he fainted on the road,she not sure dear ok or not...im so worry liao...din do anyting liao,go hav a nap,too tire,n nap liao wont think so much ma...den ard 7 i on9 again,dear not back yet,chat wif Jeff,till ard 9 he say he nid do his work liao,so stop liao lor...den vin korkor tok to me,tis time he ask for pic to c,haha,v play reversi oso,but all tis cant make me stop worry bout dear lor...hmm...hope dear is ok...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Monday

BBQ night

Last nite went to my fren house for bbq to celebrate christmas eve...V discover her place there got a 'well' started to tok bout ghost story =.="

LOLx suddenly become 'qi yue shi si' hahas....

But is quiet a succesfull bbq party lor,atleast wen v wan start,rain stop liao,but tok us ard 2 hours oni started up the fire,omg...din wait till count down a few of us go home liao,cant stay long nia,my dad call me le,ask me come back early,coz got relative here,scare i woke them up ma,if i go back too late...

Hmm,noting much oso lor...yesterday afternoon keep PY oso,coz double exp ma,2day double pang,PY oso,but later ard 3 got chat wif dear awhile,is his mum birthday 2day,wish her happy birthday ^^

den i let daddy use the com liao,im tire,cannot take it liao went to hav a nap,until 6pm...now took bath & had dinner le,want to go back PY chiong pang lor...tata...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Saturday

Last nite is a dizzy nite =P

Result stil nid wait abit longer oni can noe nia,sad...But i wil try not to be too worry lor...Yesterday dear told me dun nid worry bout the fight liao coz ady settle,gd lor,hehe...The passport ady found it,all the time is wif the agent nia,omg,waste my time flip all over the place =.="

Last nite got tok to Jeff oso,his alone nia,last nite suppose to be a family gathering nia,so since i can stay infront the com i decided to 'accompany' him lor...b4 dat oso got play a quick game wif vin korkor,is a quick game coz vin korkor nid go out later...the anime i been watching--UFO Baby,i crazy liao,jump 30+ episode to watch the last episode,haha...Cousin is here,little cousin,nid watch out of them too,Samuel summore keep wan walk up n down the stairs,nid follow lar,turning liddat kind a dizzy,later my sis step in,v take turn follow lor,better,beside dat time my fen call me,my 1st bf,chat wif him awhile,he ask me whether wan meet up next week wor,hmm,im fine wif it,so long din c him liao,dunnoe he got change or not,hehe...

Later my little nephew is here,happy,i miss him alots...But sad,he now very sticky wif his mum,other ppl carry he cry,sad,cant carry him,he dun wan me = (

Later goin out lor,coz the date wif my gd frens is uncancel ady,hmm,not sure we wil be heading wer,reached my fren house oni decide lor...B4 go out nid stop by Tham korkor house,hehe,i like cal him korkor,he oso dun mind liao =P nid leave him the bbq stuff so my fren can pick it up frm him later in the afternoon...2molo got bbq at her house ma,im goin too...dunnoe how to go her house wor,but lucky Tham korkor wil fetch me,so i dunnid wory to get lost lor ^^

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Thursday

Goin mad liao lar!!!

LOLx,my dad forgot wer he keep my maid passport nia,2 days liao i try to find the place dat possible but no result leh...Omg...hmm,maybe dun find it proposely later wil saw it bah,coz yesterday wen looking for the passport my dad found the doc dat he nid last month,haha...

Hmm,my result,wen i can noe lar???college haven call yet nia,if wait till 2nite oso no call 2molo must call them liao,haiz...waiting for the result is so suffering......Worry nia...

Last nite got chat wif Jeff lor,dear haven on9 dat time,hmm,hope Jeff can let go bah,dun hurt himself anymore nia...Later dear on9 liao,chat wif him,he told me ys got friday come out frm NS,holiday ma,dear say dey might fight dat day,coz ys got bully in NS,worry nia...but dear say he wil try to settle it by toking oni lor...hope everyting wil be find bah,worry if dear get hurt...

Lastly,there is sumting bothering me,sumting i wish not to think bout it,sumting i affraid to get an answer,a feeling flowing inside me which i forcing myself to ignore it...

Juz now,looking at sum old pic,n the doll i get frm my ex,thinking sumting bout them,thinking how i get to know dem,be wif them,thinking my feeling i had wif them,thinking......Thought bout dear too,hehe...v started to noe each other bcoz of ms,bcoz of my sis,bcoz of the guild--soulbreaker...bcoz i started to on9 more n more,i dun on9 last time de,oni started last yr,den my on9 time become longer n longer,till now,noting to do,keep on9 oni,even on9 oso noting to do,yet still on it,coz maybe there is sum1 i can tok wif,coz maybe dear will be here... :p Haiz...saturday cancelled again,wen i can go out wif my gd fren nia???

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Wednesday

2day i been watching anime,but i on my msn at the same time too,hehe...but din tok much lor,coz later afternoon i felt sleepy went to hav a nap le...den later ard evening i on awhile,dear say he fallen asleep juz now in the afternoon,dats y din chat wif me,jeff chat wif me awhile den he say he nid go out,den vin korkor oso on9,v tok awhile,he told me he watched death note 2 le,sob,i cannot watch yet nia,haiz....den i off9 le went to hav dinner...

After dinner,no com to use,so i took my mp3,listen mp3 in my room,alone,noting to do,suddenly remember my diary book,so i started to read it frm the beginning...hmm...so many things dat i had forgotten,yet so many thing is still so fresh in my mind,feel like crying...Now i oni noe,the wish to be dead is wif me,wen i was 13 oni,but dun worry wor,i wont really kill myself de,coz i noe life is priceless,noting can replace it,i noe i nid to appreciate,hehe...'Sinpan nasai'

Remember sumting funny,sum1 hu like me b4,a stranger dat used to call me dat time,remember there is time dat i wish i can be away frm my family,leave tis house...Haha...Im such a kid,hmm,not really...Those time,hehe...cant go back nia...wadever......

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Monday

What is love?

I read sumting frm newspaper 2day,is sumting i think most of us asking--'what is love?',so i dictated it here,but it is in chinese,so i decided to translate it...

WHAT IS LOVE? －－－ Translation by me ^^

Love is something difficult to understand.There is a sentence i once heard and i really like it:a relationship divided into few stages.

The beginning 3 months,is honey moon stage.The relationship is still growing,non can leave the other,this can be call as-not seing for one day is like 3 years had pass by.

The following half year,is a habbit stage.A stage where both party had used to each other,no matter what the other do,the involvement of the another is a habbit,if the other party not here,only make the other felt not comfortable like something is missing.

The last stage is responsibility.The responsibility is to take care each other,is not to fulfill what was once promised but is because ourself cant leave the other.

A relationship can be describe as writting a diary.At first it is something interesting to do,no matter what happen,we will write it down everyday.Then we started write it once in 2/3 days,the words wrote become lesser too.At the end we even forget where is the diary book.

Sometimes really dont know what is love are all about.Why the 'Creater' created such thing in the human mind?Maybe is because of 'Love',then only we can differenciate human being from animal.

Honestly i do agree with this,the stages of a relationship,but some ppl able to maintain the honeymoon stage longer,some who had lost it able to bring it back years later.Some responsibilty occur in the relationship is not only to take care each other,but it is because the children they have,they maintain togather just because it is better for the children.Some relationship when the honey moon stage had passed,they immediate call for an end.Therefore,i only agree the existance of those stages,but i felt that it is different for every single party n every single relationship.Beside what i had dictated here,i had read alot of view regard to this point,as in my opinion,no matter what had used to describe or to define what is love,many of us at the end still doesnt know what is love is all about.Maybe it could be say we only learn about it from experience,from each single heartbroken night..The only thing i know for now,love can be maintain if one appreciate each other...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Sunday

Last nite dear cant tok in msn wif me coz he got project to do,so i play pangya lor,wif kin...play til late,i was sleepy but i dun wan to go to bed yet,kin noe oso ask me go rest,i say i dun wan,wan wait til i extremely tire so i wont think so much,while playing v chat,however his house com too lag,so afterdat he say not playing liao if he dced again...He dced,so i off liao,go slp lor,no choice,he send me few msg b4 slpt...

Tis morning,he msg me again,ask i can wake up or not,haha,and say wait later i reached hom den accompany me play pangya,he did hold on to his word o.0

v play til i lved,along dat time v keep chatting,tok bout him n me,he told he last time he work part time at pub,introduce me some cocktail,he say the pub there got showgal de(stripping show gal),he oso tell sumting bout his ex,erm,he say he got problem de,he like to chase gal,but after sum times he suddenly dun like dat gal liao,and stuff...i told him my ex too lor,sumting wif my feelings and so...but tis conversation wil be keep away frm my sis de lar,i noe kin through my sis de,she call him korkor,tis conversation v had,is not a gd idea to tok wif her...

Actually kin is quite nice guy lar,if he more faithful wif one gal i think he sure ady had a nice gf liao bah...maybe,who noe...wad ever lor...doesnt care whether he really is a gd guy,juz wan hav more ppl to chat wen i playing pangya...Last nite din slp well,not enuf slp leh,2day driving like falling asleep,i think 2nite shld get tire earlier bah...Yet,i still wan to make myself become very tire 1st,recently thinking too much b4 slp,so tire liao oni go to bed hav lesser time to think so much,hehe...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Friday

Gambateh

Din post dat often like i juz started the post last few months ago...Y har?coz sian lor,my life,noting really special...everyday if not goin to skol den stay at home,flip awhile notes,on9--chat,check mail,game...Not many mail actually,so sumtimes dun even bother to check lor..but chatting,hmm,cant miss it,coz dear ma,wan tok to him,n sum other frens like jeff,pei...Is funny,those i chat wif,all i juz 'met' not long ago,cant say met too,dats y i put 'met',v noe each other frm maplesea den start crapping alot in msn,haha...But sumtimes not crapping de wor,v tok bout sumting of ourself,those thing make us feel blue lor...

Few days ago tok to lihchoon le,feel glad she do quite well there,atleast better den me ma,hoping everyting will be juz fine for her ~~~~GAMBATEH~~~~

Sry lar,me still the same hor,like to on9 n play game,but dun worry lar,i will study too,i will do my best,remember to cheer 'JIA YOU' for me hor,hehe ^^

Recently in the game of Pangya,met sum new frens,one is vin korkor,he is nice,ask for his elp in sumting b4,and he din hesitate for it...den got one peter korkor,but he quite weird leh,keep asking private question =.=" There is another guy Kin,he met my sis 1st de,my sis call him Kin korkor,den last few days i met him,he noe me thru my sis de lar...Last nite he suddenly call my sis,dat time i was sleeping,din really notice it,den suddenly i woke up wen my phone juz start to ring for 2 sec,my sis kind a suprise i pick up the phone so fast coz i slept liao wad,i oso dun noe y,is like i ady noe the phone wil ring,but on phone barely can hear wad he say,too soft liao de voice...after hang up my sis say Kin juz came back frm a wedding dinner,he got drink lor,so v think he shld had be drunk dat time,dats y he call...

Last nite din chat wif my dear leh,he was away wen i on9,but i wrote him a testi in friendster liao,so dear cannot say i no 'guai' liao hor...hehe ^^ juz now i check out friendster,dear wrote me one testi oso,so sweet of him...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Saturday

Had a relieve

This few days having alot of things to worry and to be settle...The most troubling worry of mine is settle,is a huge relieve for me however the 2nd one is still waiting for the news (my result)....But i noe after my result,no matter how it is the following stress or i should juz say the present one of mine is still those works that i trying to 'fix myself with',but i now trying everyday telling myself 'gambateh' sure i will graduate very soon : ) i hope so,really hope so... The result thing i really try not to think bout it,coz make me very worry,hehe...However now the guy dat like me,is giving me headache,not bcoz he keep contact me,is bcoz he dun reply me wen i could return his external harddrive,i really dun noe wad to do with him,dun wan owe things to him,kind a making me feel guilty for not accepting him...i noe he is a nice person juz too bad i dun like him,wad to do,hope he really can understand dat....Juz now i was browsing friendster,say a buliten post of a fren,he ask us,all the SMKPP ex student to add 'sum1' but im not sure will i add dat 'sum1',dun noe...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Tuesday

Yesterday found out sumting,realise sumting,found out the guy who like me,i noe bout it long ago but i able to pretend not since he din say anyting till yesterday...sum say i should giv him a chance but tis cant force de...tok to sum1 last nite,he told sum ways i might able to make him giv up,along the chat found sumting suprise me....beside dat i realise i still will feel jealous wen 'listen' to my ex tok bout a gal he like now,i tot i wont jealous or having any uncomfortable feelings for those news,but i do happy he living gd,having a nice life,meeting sum1 special...n is it enuf dat he do remember me as i do remember him,im glad v still r fren,is gd to tok to him sumtimes,make me think of sumting regarding to the decision i making or made...i realise too dat i trying to avoid ppl tok bout my ex wif me,especially say sumting bad bout him(the more especially is a fren of me n him),is kind a hurt me...i realise i too,now i had lost sum faith in relationship,tis is wen i chatting wif sum1...ard tis 3 yrs,sumting had changed sumting had not,i did avoid sumting for sum periods,i had thought of giv up bout sumting...i had did sum mistake dat i regrete,but dat is a lesson to me,learned not to do the sumting again...there is stil so much to learn,so much to experience,there is still a long way to go...even rite now my faith is gone but one day,maybe,sumthing or sum1 able to make me believe wad i couldnt believe rite now......

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Sunday

Hair cut ^ ^

2day i cut my hair liao,atlast my mum din stop me to cut till shoulder,last time i want to cut short my mum keep say no,even the guy there oso say better dun,swt,he dun wan earn money liao...but actually behind there got left a 'tail' liddat lo,got some still long de,den beside wan all cut till shoulder liddat,i like it,hehe...tis should thx yto my sis,hu wan to cut her hair to,my mum ady stop her not to,oni cut front hair,so i got tis change to cut it shorter liao,if not i think will same like last time still long hair... =P

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |

Saturday

BB spore >.<

So sad,the vacation to spore cancel ady...haiz...summore my frens ady organized the trip to genting tis christmas which i had told dem i wont join(no room le),so now no way to go liao...wad ever lar...stay at home study lor...since my notes still in progress,erm,dun noe wen exacly i finish it,hehe...so lazy n so sian ma....

Got one afternoon i was chatting wif my ex bf(my 1st bf),sumting nonsence v tok bout,den he ask me wether i regrete wif d decision v make last time,tis is a question without an answer,no matter wad i say tings wont change,past is past...v tok bout sumting ppl repatch again after broke up,tis n dat,v come out d conclusion tis will happen but its depend on time,situation,d most important issue is d person's choice lo...true,rite?

den he say sry 2 me,he say sry dat he hurt me last time,sry for his unmature dat cause my pain,honestly,i hardly remember wad arguement took place b4,y i cried,y i was hurt,in my memory there is so much of gd i remember bout him,d care,d love,n so...but i din told him bout tis lo...wad for?he oso ask me wether i wil remember d time v had like he do,d answer is for sure i do...

Is weird,u noe...ppl always remember d 1st love(or im wrong?) but dey may forgot d following one unless d one hurt him/her too deep,or too deep in love...is true for me...i totally forgot my 2nd relationship except d fatc my parent dun like him...for d last relationship i had,i kind a forget those sweet days,wad i remember is those arguement,critisim he said to me,maybe bcoz is still fresh since d separation,still feeling hurt,dats y i oni remember bad ting...i dun noe...my love life is a mess...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |