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Wednesday

给爸妈的一封信

爸妈:

您说我不会明白您的心情,或许吧。

您曾经对我说‘对不起’因为在我年幼时不能常常相伴。是的,偶尔想起我会有点遗憾。也因为这样,这几年您试图更接近我吧。我明白但却也无法自然接受,可也不愿抗拒。妈,或许您认为无法陪伴年幼的我,让我难过,但您可否考虑过有其他原因呢?您说您很担心我,因为我常常不知身边所发生的事情,这样的个性是为何而存在的,您有思考过吗?您曾问我们,是否会认为您过于操心,我想您自己有个答案吧。

爸妈,孩子的离开,让你们拥有了很沉重的心情,我了解的。只是,我清楚自己是个很懒散的人,有许多事我能不做,不想做,有人依赖的,我都不做。这样的我留在家里,一辈子也无法真正独立的,我好恨这样的我。爸妈,不管发生什么事,你们依然是我父母,这依然是我的家,孩子飞得多远,还是会回到这个家。

我明白你们会认为我想到新加坡是因为他。无可否认,他会是其一的原因但不是所有的原因啊!妈,我从不认为自己二十三了,很大了,我只觉得自己不小了。我想寻找我的未来,属于我的生活,妈,我会想嫁人的,有一天,我还是会离开的。妈,您说我若不是决定了也不会和您说,根本不是在商量。可是,妈,若我没有一个决定又何必和你们说呢?何必让您操心我还没决定的事呢?

爸妈,你们知道吗?在我心中,你们是我的父母亲,是妹妹弟弟的父母亲,但你们不只是属于我们的,你们是属于大家的。从懂事以来,我看见你们一而再再而三的为婆婆公公的事烦恼,为舅舅阿姨的事苦恼,为表姐妹的事操劳,为工作的事烦心。但您想保护我们,很多事都不想我们操心,不是吗?可我看见您烦恼,看见您伤心,看见您紧张,看见您哭泣。我是什么心情的呢?只有您的事让不知如何面对,让我不知所措,让我无法冷静处理。

有很多话我想说却从没能说出口更无法说出口。有许多话,反反复复在我脑力徘徊却依然在徘徊。我不愿看见您哭,不愿让您难过,不愿让您担心,但无论如何您还是会操心的,每个父母都是如此的。您说在新加坡的生活费用很高,我还得付房租之类的。其实有个方法可以减轻这方面的花费,不过我知道你们听了会有点难以接受,所以我不说。但到了那天我还是的面对其事的吧,我知道是无法逃避的。

爸妈,我很幸运能有这个家,我很幸福,可是,我不能再沉溺在这个家。我一直在担任着乖孩子的角色,但做得不完整,因为我活在自己的世界,一直没能分担这个家的事。说句真心话,我很矛盾,心情很复杂,对你们,对弟妹,对大家。

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |




Tuesday

Haih...

Went to talk with my parent about me going too Singapore work, my mum face totally changed after i said so, in my view she had disagree totally but she says she was shock, then bla bla bla....
She went on talk about the economy, the high expenses.... Then i got in emotion & shouted & cried, saying i did some research & still doing it, finding for jobs online... After that, bla bla bla, then says i did not gave her time to get use to me not being around often, this & that....Haih...
Then, she says if i find job i should not just concentrate finding a job in Singapore, then say when i found job offers then show her, show her the comparison i made, pursuade her lo...
About where i live, i did not talk about it just now, i afraid if i say i going to stay with my boyfriend, she will totally disagree for me going to Singapore...Headache, last time i told her my principal suggest us go Dubai, she did not reacted this 'shock', im quite shock she did not, now i go Singapore is actually far more closer to her, she gone emotion like this...Sien...
My friend says, maybe i go live with my friend first, she finding a roommate ma, stay for a month or 2 then tell her i going to move in to his place, maybe this will work...but i dont know lo...And felt not quite right, to my friend, to his parent since he told them i stay there until i found a place...But instead of that, i have a place then wanted move in...not so good bah...
Headache sia..........God please help me on this...

|DREAMS WILL COME TRUE |






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A Little About Her


Elie
31 Dec 1986
elly530ng@yahoo.com
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-:Things i don't like:-
have enemy
Nagging by others
Force to do something
Be forgotten

-:Things i likes:-
Being alone when feeling blue
Read stuffs
'Boom' Musics

-:My Wishes:-
Found my soulmate
Complete my study
Own a car
Own a house

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LINKS


3ddie
lihchoon
CoolBB~m3
maylyn
jeff

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ACCOMPLISHMENT



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Cute Text by The Doll Palace / Click to edit
When things go wrong,as thery sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile,but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must,but don't you quit.

Life is queen with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggles has given up
When he might have captured the victor's up;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,-
Its when things seems worst that you musn't quit.


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