second lower honour?
Ever since i been there for a week and came home, i was unable to be fully happy, i can't help feeling something missing. I just can't stop to think of going away from where i am now, starting a whole new circle of life. Really wanted so but i have to be patience, i have to wait, wait for the right time but when is the right time? I just don't know. I guess the only thing i can do is to wait for an offer and then i will know what will be my next step. Is this so?
Long ago, i had a feeling this is not where i belong to, this feeling continues to follow me until now, and it became stronger day by day. I hated myself for this since everyone saying im so lucky, to have such a wonderful family, great parent, happy life but why i don't feel happy? Why i felt so lonely? So sorrow? Why do i wanted to run? Even felt that it would be great if im dead, not once but few times for some years ago.
I felt that my life aint mine, being here but i know that the world outside aint so sweet and nice too. Yet, i wanted to live on another life, a different life from now. Is almost time for me being able to do so right? To start a new life with him, at there. It would be something that closer to what i dream to have, right? A step closer to my goal, right? It should be.
I Miss You, my dear hubby...
Elie drop by@ 7/05/2009